Sunday, 31 January 2016

5/52 // good things

This week I received a disappointing grade on one of my essays. I subsequently spent a couple of days being horrendously unproductive, sad and disheartened about it. Today I've decided enough is enough. I'm going to be a little more productive and move on with my life, there is nothing I can do about it anyway and I refuse to let one grade ruin my mood for a second longer. I refuse to dwell on the negative and instead I'll focus on the positive, some of the good things from the past week (in list form because I'm really digging it at the moment.)

some good things

  • birthday cake
  • cute outfits
  • vegan restaurants 
  • museums
  • tattoos
  • horror films
  • the life is strange soundtrack
  • being able to recall things you learned years ago
  • that feeling of accomplishment when you complete your workout 
  • new books even though they are required reading 
  • eating tons of cookies and having no regrets
  • bowls of broccoli, peas and chickpeas 
  • spending time with family 
  • more cookies
  • cute notebooks 
  • journalling 
  • washi tape
  • coffee 
  • making it though january 

What are some good/positive things in your life this week? It's really fun and refreshing to take a moment and write them out, so definitely comment below with yours! (also it makes me happy to hear about things that make other people happy)

Tuesday, 26 January 2016

top 5 books i read in 2015!

My reading started out pretty well and peaked in summer, but I practically read nothing, coincidentally, whilst I was back at University (what a surprise, am I right?) Let's face it. Reading for fun is hard when you're studying English at University. I always feel guilty when I read a book for pleasure rather than for my degree and then I can't enjoy the book because I'm feeling tired and guilty... the list goes on. 'Meh' pretty much sums up my reading experience of 2015 but here those I enjoyed the most.

This Song Will Save Your Life by Leila Sales

This book messed me up in a good way. It was so good, it gave me a mega book hangover. This book follows Elise, who discovers an underground night club which transforms her miserable life into a journey of self discovery, self acceptance, friendship, DJing and a lot of music. All things I'm really passionate about. It has amazing character development, music in its spine and is all round a really great read, especially if you're a fan of music and character development. (I know I am) I even wrote a raving review so go check that out if you want my in-depth thoughts!

Rat Queens by Kurtis J. Wiebe and Roc Upchurch

Technically this is a comic, but man do I love this series. I reviewed both the first and second volumes of Rat Queens and I thoroughly enjoyed both of them. The art style is great, the story focuses on questing women of varying colours, shapes, personalities and sexualities (yay for diversity!) Definitely check this series out if you want a great woman led comic series to delve into!

Finding Audrey by Sophie Kinsella 

Sometimes I'm a bit hesitant on reading books dealing with mental health but Kinsella did a pretty good job with this one. This book follows the protagonist, Audrey, as she deals with her social anxiety which is pretty severe to the extent that she wears sunglasses indoors and finds it hard to leave her house. Whilst I found the romance a little cheesy and rushed, I really liked the depiction of social anxiety, it was honest and accurate and didn't fall into the catastrophic 'boy saves girl from mental illness' trope.

Warm Bodies by Isaac Marion 

I found the premise of this book a bit creepy and off-putting, but turned out to be a pleasant surprise. A zombie falling in love seems a bit odd but this was a great alternative to the conventional zombie plot line. I'm such a sucker for zombies and I love finding books which offer a really unique and original spin on the conventional zombie plot line! ALSO THERE IS A SEQUEL COMING SOON!?

The Miniaturist by Jessie Burton 

This one was intriguing and had some magical realism, some mystery, some odd plot lines, and some difficult topics. Even though I read this right at the beginning of 2015, I remember being so intrigued and confused when finishing this book and it definitely left an impact on me.
After writing this post, I feel really motivated to read plenty more amazing books this year!
Have you guys read any of these? What did you think!? What were your favourite books of 2015!? This post is kind of late and maybe a little irrelevant but I'm sharing it anyway!

Sunday, 24 January 2016

4/52 // on life is strange

52 thoughts is a weekly post, featuring an assortment of thoughts from Rosario's brain. 

Life Is Strange has quickly become one of my favourite games.

It's an episodic game, following student, Max Caulfield as she navigates her life after acquiring the ability to rewind time. The decisions you make in the game impact the past, present and future and have different consequences which is always hella fun!

Just some reasons I love this game:
  • It's beautifully written and the story involves time travel, a mysterious tornado and uncovering the secrets behind the disappearance of a fellow student. Also reconnecting with a friend and being all teenage and nostalgic.
  • It made me feel all the feels. 
  • It has an amazing soundtrack, so nostalgic and cute. 
  • Has a female lead.
  • The story is very character driven and has a female friendship at the forefront.
  • Shout out to the characters Warren and Kate, for being cute lil' cinnamon buns. 
  • The character and complex and amazing.
  • The graphics have a hand drawn aesthetic and are very beautiful.
  • Time travel woo!
  • Has tempted me to invest in a polaroid camera 
  • And make a polaroid wall (as pictured above) 
  • I just love this game and a limited edition (including the soundtrack and exclusive art book) has just been released! 

Has anyone else played Life Is Strange? If you haven't definitely give it a go!!

Friday, 22 January 2016

3/52 // on unconventionality

Unconventional adjective
not based on or conforming to what is generally done or believed

Unconventionality, is an old friend of mine. I was an unconventional five year old and I'm an unconventional twenty year old. I'm sure I'll be an unconventional fifty year old and an unconventional eighty year old.

For a long time I've seen unconventionality as a weakness, something to be embarrassed about. Most likely due to the emphasis society puts on being 'normal' (see usage of words such as 'weirdo' etc,) Yet, at the same time it's something I've almost subconsciously embraced. I love doing unconventional things and most of the things I do, I do unconventionally. I still feel pressure to be 'normal' conventional, to change in order to fit in, and almost be this cookie cutter version of who everyone expects me to be, but I'm trying really hard to accept and even embrace my unconventionality. I guess what I'm saying is it's fine not to do what everyone else is doing, to be how everyone else is.

I've often been dealt an unconventional hand in life, I've made unconventional choices, and my future plans are unconventional (marriage and kids is not my thing.) I'm slowly learning to embrace my unconventionality and sometimes it's cool, sometimes it's not. Being unconventional has moulded me into a more open minded and compassionate individual but at the same time has confused people around me, sometimes it's hard for other people to accept or understand. Maybe that's something I just have to accept and move on. Unconventionality is kinda my thing and I'm going to embrace it.

Wednesday, 20 January 2016

saviour songs // january 2016

Saviour Songs is a monthly playlist, consisting of the songs that set the musical backdrop to Rosario's life. 

  • 'We're just trying to find some colour in this black and white world.'
  • This month's playlist consists of a whole block of Panic! At The Disco, why? Because they just released the album 'Death Of A Bachelor' and it is insanely amazing. I'm ready to conquer the universe when I listen to this album, it's really that good. One of my favourite thing about Panic! is the diversity of their music, every album is really different and I think everyone could find something they love from their earliest album (released ten years ago) to their most recent (this month) It was tempting to include every song on this album (which you should listen to because -mind-blown) but here are some I love especially. 
  • I've included possibly my favourite Paramore song 'Anklebiters' which has my favourite lyrics (which one day I might get tattooed on myself so that I'm forced to see it everyday) 'fall in love with yourself.' I'm a firm believer that being comfortable in and with yourself is such a liberating feeling and this lyric just serves as a reminder that you are damn awesome and you should one hundred percent be your own biggest fan. 
  • I recently got back into Foo Fighters and 'Stranger Things Have Happened' was one that made me happy this month. 
  • My Sister recently lent me her Red Hot Chilli Peppers CD collection and I've been listening to Road Trippin' a lot! 
  • The more I listen to Marina and the Diamonds the more I love her music (and her) 'Gimme love, gimme dreams, gimme a good self esteem.' Lyrically and sonically amazing. 

Sunday, 17 January 2016

2/52 // today is never too late to be brand new

52 thoughts is a weekly post, featuring an assortment of thoughts from Rosario's brain. 

I often find myself feeling limited by who I have been. Feeling obliged to define myself based on who I have been, and the person people are expecting me to be. I sometimes make decisions based on what I think other people are expecting, rather than listening to myself, and it's really silly. I'm tired of trying to measure myself up to my past self, but also I've realised how unhealthy it is to be so stagnant and avoid change. I haven't got it all worked out, and that's fine.

So really, I just want to put it out there:
You are not obliged to be the same person you were last year or even yesterday.
You don't have to be defined by who you've been whether it's yesterday's self or last year's self, you don't have to make decisions based on who you have been or who you are expected to be.
You don't have to behave the same ways or try to and maintain an appearance simply because (you think) other people are expecting it.

Falling into the trap of comfort and familiarity out of obligation is easy and safe and also pretty boring. You are not obliged to be that person and don't have to loose that feeling of feeling unique. Don't stick to that version of yourself simply because it's safe and easier than taking conscious steps to bettering yourself. You can be brand new if you try and you always should because you are always evolving. Trying to be your past self will only stifle your growth. you have to change to grow. It's totally fine to slip up but don't have to try to so hard to be your past self simply because it's easier, safer or because that's who you used to be. It's not about who you have been, or even who you are, but who you want to be. Here's to becoming limited edition.

Friday, 15 January 2016

1/52 // on hobbies and passions

Hi everyone, this is the first post in a series I'm starting on this blog! I'm literally just writing my thoughts about an assortment of topics, every week in 2016 (or trying to at least) I always have an abundance of thoughts and figured, why not share them? They're a bit messy because apparently that's my style but I hope you find them interesting, entertaining or thought provoking  in some way. 

I'm not sure where I first heard the term,, but recently I've come to realise I am a serial hobbyist. For my entire life, I've never had one singular hobby or interest I'm passionate about. I have a plethora of hobbies, I love books, music, bands, games, tv, film, anime, art but I'm not passionate or singularly interested in one more than the others. One week I'll be reading all the books, the next I'll be playing all the games, the next I'll drop everything to be consumed by my love of music. 

Where it comes from, I'm not sure but I always feel an external pressure to define myself as something singular and to have a main passion in life. Even outside of hobbies, society asks you to have a singular answer to questions. From 'what degree are you going to study' (choosing one specific degree area) to 'what ethnicity are you?' (they ask a mixed race girl) everyone seems to expect singular answers to questions, which for me, have no singular answer. When it comes to hobbies I'm always a bit confused. I want to do and be everything but feel passionate about nothing in particular. Sometimes it gets so overwhelming that I end up doing nothing - I want to be a part of everything but end up being apart from everything. It's a confusing life and I'm always faced with the difficulty of trying to be everything at once. Maybe it comes down to indecision, maybe it's a fear of dedicating myself to something, maybe I have a case of thinking the grass is always greener on the other side, maybe I do give up when things get difficult, maybe i'm scared of failing, or maybe it's just plain lazinesss!?

I don't think I have to box myself into one niche, one interest or one passion but I find it so difficult to manage and make time for all my hobbies. Sometimes I feel as though I can't enjoy what I'm doing because I have so many other things I want to do and it almost feels like a waste of time if I'm going to loose interest in that hobby for a couple of months. But for now I guess this is who I am. I definitely want to make more time for my hobbies to alleviate this time pressure I always seem to feel. Maybe that is the solution to this problem, if I stopped procrastinating and used my time wisely maybe I could do everything?

Maybe one day I'll find that one true passion everyone else seems to have, but for now I'll be passionate about my mixture of interests, my spark of fire fuelled by a range of sources. I'll be passionate about my lack of singular passion and accept that I'm just not satisfied with one hobby or passion. I love different things about my hobbies and I get something different from each of them. I may never be the most advanced or expert reader, gamer, musician etc. but I'll still come back to most of my hobbies, even if I do neglect them for a couple of months. Writing this has kind of inspired me to put more effort into my hobbies and actually make time for them and enjoy them in the present, rather than fretting over whether they are a waste of time or somehow unproductive. If i'm having fun then it's not time wasted and it's silly to give up on something because of the amount of time it will take because the time is going to pass regardless.

After all, if I want to flit between hobbies, I'm going to do so. I'm not going to feel guilty for not being niche, or singular or devoted to one passion. But I am going to persevere in my more creative hobbies. I want to finally get back into learning instruments (that's one I should not neglect for months) If I manage my time I'm sure I can get past this mental hurdle of almost giving up on all the things I want to do. If I believe I can do all the things, I will be able to do all the things. After all, I'm fine with being a Rosario of all hobbies and I want to be thoughtfully being consumed by a different passion, week to week. In the wisdom laden words of Shia Labeouf, maybe I just need to do it and not let my multiple hobby dreams be dreams?

xoxo I'm not sure how I got to this conclusion, but thanks for taking the time to read this stream of consciousness that probably makes very little sense! It's really relieving for me to write my partially edited thoughts and I'd really love to hear someone else's thoughts!!
(leave a comment, I value your opinion!)