Wednesday, 22 June 2016

17/52 // radiate positive vibes // visual thoughts

52 thoughts is a weekly post featuring some of the messy and honest thoughts running through Rosario's mind. From serious issues, to lighthearted whimsical thoughts, each post is unique and thoughtfully crafted.

For someone who writes a blog, it feels a bit ironic that I struggle with words. Or is this simply called writers block? Regardless, words have been hard, slippery, and elusive recently. I've also somehow found myself in a slumpy and negative mood for the past few days and I'm done with it, it's a waste of my time. So I figured, if words aren't working for me right now, why not try some visuals? So late one rainy night, I gathered my watercolours and hastily drew up all the things that define ~positive vibes~

~Positive Vibes ~ The Rosario ~ June 2016 edition~ 
// For every negative thought you have, think up three positive ones // Appreciate the nature, sunsets and sunrise // Read extensively // Ignite your mind with plenty of fair trade coffee // Give everyone equal respect, regardless of status //  Be creative // Be kind to people  // Meditate and be thoughtful  // Grow // TRY

One quote that always makes me feel positive, ready to fight all the negative vibe life throws at me, and make the most of each day is;

'I want to taste and glory in each day, and never be afraid to experience pain; and never shut myself up in a numb core of non-feeling, or stop questioning and criticizing life and take the easy way out. To learn and think: to think and live; to live and learn: this always, with new insight, new understanding, and new love.' ~ by one of my fav writers, Sylvia Plath.

How do you radiate positive vibes? Let me know, in the comments down below!  

Friday, 17 June 2016

16/52 // A solo trip to London

natural history museum london collage
52 thoughts is a weekly post featuring 52 of the many messy and honest thoughts running through Rosario's mind. 

Last week, I wanted to have a museum day. But everyone I invited was either too busy or had an some sort of excuse, so I went alone.  Sounds like a pretty normal response, right? Except, I am a very anxious person. Crowds and busy places make me nervous. Doing things alone makes me nervous. And combining the two had the potential to make me super nervous.  But I did it, and I am here to tell the celebratory tale!

As I don't live too far outside London, I'm fortunate enough to get there in about half an hour by train. On the journey, I read a bit of #girlboss, and enjoyed the the candid croons of The Front Bottoms. I hopped on the tube and headed for the Natural History Museum. ‘Hopped on the tube’ is perhaps too casual a statement, considering that I, in true anxious fashion, noted my entire journey in my phone before leaving home (because tube maps are confusing) That didn’t stop me though, as at some point during the day I got on the wrong tube; after about five stops I realised I was going in the wrong direction but somehow managed to successfully navigate my way back and survived!? I SURVIVED. I am a changed girl and have clearly become a master tube navigator. 

I perused the Natural History Museum like a serious academic, examining the tortoise section like a fangirl, and admiring the replicas, shells, and sea treasures from around the world. Then, of course, I spent far too long in the gift shop, mostly debating whether to buy an adorable animal plush. I think I was probably more enamoured by those toys than some of the kids there…. The penguins were too cute and there was a little rabbit that seemed to be calling my name. There was so much choice that I literally couldn’t make my mind up, and bought NOTHING. Obviously the sun had gotten to my head, but on the plus side, I still have the memories, and a couple of photos.

I then took a solo shopping trip to the Soho/Convent Garden area, and visited multiple comic and book stores, (Foyles, Waterstones, Gosh Comics, to name a few!) Forbidden Planet (who have a whole basement dedicated to books and comics!!) Urban Outfitters, American Apparel (where I gazed longingly at cute clothes I couldn't afford) and some cute little stationary shops. Walking everywhere, I was gripped with the freedom that comes with rolling solo. I could wander wherever, peruse whatever, do whatever, with no one to consult but myself. The plan was to get a vegan shake but it was getting pretty late, so I settled for a mind-blowingly amazing donut from Crosstown donuts and then headed home. While I admit to scoffing the donut way too fast on the train home, I did savour the taste of the coffee custard and the taste of a successful mission.  

(Also overcame any anxiety I had about eating alone in public because donuts are so messy to devour, especially when you are standing on a train and there is someone standing directly opposite you. Long hair don’t care though, the donut tasted amazing.)

When was the last time you had a day out on your own? Tell me all about it!
G O O D R E A D S // T W I T T E R  // I N ST A G R A M // B L O G L O V I N'

Sunday, 12 June 2016

6 punk rock ethos to live by

punk rock vibes zine

If I've learnt one thing about punk rock attitudes, it's that everything is subjective. Including the term punk rock; it means different things to different people. Punk rock is not exclusively a style, but it can be an attitude, a music style, an ethos, a mentality, a community - it's different for everyone. This is my interpretation of punk rock and in true punk rock form, I created a mini zine about some empowering punk rock ethos that we should all live by.
Question everything 
Literally everything. That's from established definitions, cultural and social norms, gender roles, stereotypes, to things like why there so much sugar in everything. Question where information is coming from, and how it effects you. Nothing is completely unbiased or objective, so it makes sense to consider where the information you're absorbing is coming from. Remaining curious helps us consider alternative perspectives and viewpoints which helps us become more empathetic. Another thing I've learnt is to reject ‘tradition’ if the only justification for its existence is 'that's how things have always been.'

Just wear the thing 
Beauty is subjective, if you believe you're beautiful, you are. Other people's opinions  do not define you. Wear that article of clothing  that 'doesn't suit you' if it makes you feel beautiful. Destroy the belief that you can't pull off certain looks. In the words of Oscar Wilde, 'you can never be overdressed or overeducated.' Personal style becomes so much fun when you start dressing for yourself and stop basing your style decisions on what other people and society tells you you should (or should not) be wearing. Throwing away the rules is empowering and freeing. At first it's easier said than done but if I ever get self conscious, I always remind myself that my body is my own, and my body is no one else's business.
Do It Yourself
Do it yourself (DIY) is all about getting what you want with what you have. It's starting where you are, using what you have and doing what you can to get where and what you want. It's about creating change for yourself, working with your strengths, being creative and expressing yourself. Making zines, blogs, youtube channels, music, and every other creative venture out there to empower yourself. Whether you're creating physical or digital things, it's ultra fulfilling to craft something. DIY is one of my favourite punk ethos because it provides accessibility for so many people. It allows you to create a space of your own and craft your own rules away from those who don't share your perspective (or outright make you feel as though you are wrong!)

Once you get through the door, leave it open. Help other people through. Celebrate other people and their success. Comparison if the thief of joy, don't compare your success with others. Everyone's success is different. Community is about being inclusive, helping each other out and being generous in whatever way you can. We're all in this world together so helping each other out is important. I think this goes hand in hand with creating alternative spaces and listening to other people's perspectives and voices. 
Embrace Difference
Embracing difference is a super important one. Punk and alternative scenes have for a long time been an accepting place for those who are different, but not one hundred percent of the time. Acknowledging, embracing and accepting differences helps foster positive relations and general betterment for everyone. Differences make us great and keeps things interesting. Be as subversive, unconventional,and mold breaking as often as you want. Accept differences in others and avoid being judgmental (except if someone's getting hurt, then judge away) and challenge existing prejudices - we all have them, but the good news is we can challenge and unlearn them.

It's about recognising what is important to you and embracing that. It's not about being different or standing out, or being 'authentic.' Individuality is about accepting yourself, accepting each of the building blocks that make you as an individual, everything that is important to you, the things you are, and the things you are not. It's about trusting yourself, your voice, and embracing the current version of yourself. Limit comparison to others and learn to respect and embrace your own voice and style. You do you, and own it.

I had so much fun making this little zine and post, thanks for reading! I hope you feel inspired enough to incorporate some punk rock into your life!

Sunday, 5 June 2016

15/52 // procrastination x perfectionism

the action of delaying or postponing something

Hello, yes, I am a procrastinator. If there is one thing I can do without even having to try, it's procrastinate. I'm procrastinating sleeping right now and there’s a 100% chance I procrastinated writing this. I wrote a post about social media and procrastination a couple of months ago and I was doing well for about a month or so, but I’ve slipped back into my old procrastination ways. Maybe sharing this on the internet is my way of trying to curb it, to help hold me to account or something along those lines.

So how do I procrastinate?

Sometimes, I’ll generally peruse the internet, and get a little bit lost there. If my room is spotless, you know I’m procrastinating. Trying on every article of clothing I own is a good one, takes a lot of time. Spending three three hours crafting extravagant oatmeal cakes, only for them to go wrong and taste bland is another.I’ve even procrastinated by lying on my bed and staring at the ceiling for a good hour, although that’s arguably more of an outright avoidance of work than procrastination.

But where does this all come from and why I am so I reluctant to just get stuff done? My priorities are all wrong, but why? I’ve pondered over this for what seems like an eternity, and now I'm sharing the process of procrastination and some reasons I've identified for my procrastination.

First, it starts with a lack of self-control. You’re guilty of favouring immediate gratification over the long term. Cleaning your desk will make you feel better than stressing out over an essay, so you choose to clean your desk. It’s productive because you’re getting something done. It’s easier to mentally cast the essay into the abstract realms of ‘I’ll do it tomorrow,’ than stress about it in the here and now.

Next comes the overwhelming perfectionism. You've built the task up into a seemingly insurmountable task, and on top of that you've got high expectations about how it should be done. It’s become so insurmountable that the very thought of it makes your stomach flip with anxiety.

And lastly, that flip of anxiety only gets more intense with time. This is worse when the task is time sensitive. Every day of procrastination just adds another layer to the anxiety, until you finally break and realise you only have 24 hours to get this thing done. And then you rush things, leaving them half-finished, and end up pretty disappointed with the end result. Things could have gone so differently if only you had more time. Nothing to do with procrastination, nope. 

After that last close shave, you vow to never procrastinate again but somehow the cycle continues. 

Where do I go from here? I’m not really sure to be honest. I’m going to take up meditation again, schedule my days properly, and start being mindful about internet usage and other unnecessary things. ‘Start where you are, use what you have, do what you can,’ is my guiding quote for this mission. Maybe accepting procrastination as a part of my life will lessen the guilt and disappointments, and even help combat it? We shall see.

Are you a procrastinator too? How do you deal with it!? 

Friday, 3 June 2016

14/52 // on outsiders

Outsiders, rebels, loners, ugly ducklings, weirdos… There are so many conceptions of the outsider and I love them all. Maybe it's because I feel an affinity with them, or because we’re taught to see see some outsiders as ‘cool’ and romanticised, but I love them regardless.

I guess I've always been a bit of an outsider and that's okay. Growing up, I’d snap at and resent anyone who dared call me an outsider, but I was and still am. I’ve done the subculture stuff (think emo/scene), the ultimate visual of being an outsider, but it never quite worked out and I was somewhat of an outsider to the outsiders. For the longest time, I felt ashamed, like a loser for not having found a place to fit, and to be honest, I’d be lying if I said I’ve completely relinquished my outsider status, but I don’t feel as much shame in being an outsider - hence this post. 

There are benefits and drawbacks to being an outsider. They have that unique point of view, they can see things from a different angle and that's pretty interesting. You can be more independent, you can observe from the side lines, and you have a lot more freedom from the influence of judgement and the confines of ‘fitting in.’ There is less pressure to conform, because we're already on the outside, what do we have to lose? But, whilst there is space for greater freedom, there’s also a yearning to fit somewhere. 


marina and the diamonds

Inside the Outsider

This is where I'm bringing in Mariana and the Diamonds, and Halsey. Marina encapsulates an outsider persona in her album ‘The Family Jewels.’ It was particularly her lyric, ‘inside the outsider’ that inspired me to write this post (also it’s a fun play on words) Marina’s outsider is filled with the uncertainty and questioning over her status as outsider, stating, ‘Is there more to lose than gain, If I go on my own again.' The ultimate question is whether attempting to fit in is worth it? If she goes on her own, she can be herself, but is she missing out on something? Being an outsider is confusing business, do you compromise yourself to fit in? and even if you manage to fit in, you can still harbour those outsider feelings. Maybe the performance of fitting in is not worth the hassle. Either way, this song encapsulates some of the confusion and loneliness that comes with being an outsider. This album is so unconventional, definitely give it a listen if you're feeling like a bit of an outsider!

We don't feel like outsiders at all

Halsey however shows the freedom of the outside, ‘we don’t feel like outsiders at all’ implying that they are outsiders, but they’re comfortable and confident in themselves, they don’t need to conform. New Americana is one of my fav Halsey songs and the behind the scenes video makes me love it even more. Halsey explains the New Americana, are the new generation, not afraid of counter culture and social justice – educating other people and sharing their experiences of life. They are not the ‘typical characters,’ which is why I love Halsey so much, she speaks so openly about representation. She’s including and bringing the outsiders into view with such confidence and force and I love it. She even highlights that whatever seconds the actors get on screen in her video is so important for representation. Halsey's outsiders are empowered and confident, refusing to be held down by their outsider status, instead it unites them and challenges the norms of society. 

This is essentially an appreciation post for Marina and the Diamonds and Halsey. I think it's super important and influential for outsider voices to be heard and represented. Being the outsider can be freeing and empowering, but also kind of lonely and confusing. Performing in ways society doesn't expect you to, is tough at times, but with songs like these, it’s not all that bad. Thanks to these magnificent artists for helping this lil' outsider feel less alone.

Have you guys ever felt like outsiders? I think everyone can be outsiders in different ways. I'd love to hear your thoughts!